


Your Starlit Ceiling

by PristineSnow



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, M/M, Religion, Slow Burn, Slow To Update, Underage Drinking, offensive language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:02:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 21,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21696628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PristineSnow/pseuds/PristineSnow
Summary: After years of breaking off their friendship, Gary hopes to rekindle the closeness he once had with Stan as a child. Despite the downer Stan usually is, he doesn't seem to push Gary away. (Better description to come)
Relationships: Gary Harrison & Stan Marsh, Gary Harrison/Stan Marsh
Comments: 28
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Updates are gonna be very slow, so be sure to stick around to not miss an update!
> 
> EDIT NOTE 05/15/2020 :: Hey! Still, updates are gonna be pretty slow. I wanted to work on what I can before I carry on with a personal project in June/July. Here's an edited version of Chapter 1!

It was the first day of a promisingly warm spring. Nevertheless, the air remained cold as patches of snow lingered on the ground. A typical person would complain about having a late summer, but not in one young man in particular. With a heart overflowing with love, Gary Harrison had an appreciation for practically anything in life.  
The weather wasn’t cold enough to prevent him from leaving his small house for a short walk. As soon as six in the early morning ticked its way on his watch, Gary was out the door in no time.  
He felt it unnecessary to tell his parents that he was heading out. It was only going to be a brief stroll for some fresh dawn air. After all, the young man wanted to enjoy the town's lovely Spring scenery. He planned to be back home after an hour, before seven o’clock.  
During his lonely walk, thoughts filled Gary's head and raced as fast as he would usually speak aloud. It was typical of him; when the young man wasn't thinking, he was talking to others. When he had no one to talk to, Gary would observe the atmosphere around him. When there was nothing around him to observe, and he was isolated, the young man would lose himself in deep thinking. That early morning was one of those moments.  
It wasn't about anything too dramatic; Gary was thinking about his old friends back in his old home town. He wondered what they were up to, how they were since his family moved states, and why it had been such a difficult time making friends since the move. It had been since childhood, and there he was, almost an entire year fresh out of high school.  
Gary had been home more than ever- Not that he protested. He adored his family, after all. His only wish was for people to better understand his family’s beliefs, and look past the "second-hand embarrassment" every time people would interact with them. The Harrisons' were fully aware of the mockery against their religion, but it was not enough to bother them.  
A calm breeze swept against Gary’s short blonde hair, gently pulling him out of his thoughts. The young man paused his walk and closed his eyes, taking in the serene moment. He felt like a lonely silhouette under a streetlamp, under a rising sun that was casting light upon the town. It was the light his God had created. Gary smiled at the belief and continued walking forward. Just a few more minutes, he planned before he would turn back for home.  
His light blue eyes examined the lonely porches of neighboring houses until they came across a figure sitting on one set of stone steps. Gary was about to keep walking, minding his own business, until he recognized the face through the dark shadows.  
Black hair poked out from under a blue and red ski hat. An empty bottle assumed to have been full of alcohol laid by his feet. The only other person who would drink until the morning (unless it was a party full of adults) would be none other than Stan Marsh. That could only mean Gary had walked far across town.  
Knowing he would need to make it home soon, Gary turned around to begin heading back. However, a tired voice stopped him in his tracks. “Gary? What do you want?”  
Taking in a deep breath before replying, Gary turned around with a smile and spoke in his naturally energetic voice, "Oh, actually, I didn't mean to walk this far! I’m on an early morning walk, y'know? It's a great exercise! You should give it a try sometime, huh? Well, I better be going home now! My family might wake and find me missing if I'm not home in time. That would be bad, wouldn't it?" He flashed his most generous smile and waited for a response.  
It took a moment before Stan answered, "Well, aren't you leaving? Get out of here. By the way, your teeth are too white. Stop showing off.” Knowing the young man, Stan would most likely write something poetic about anything. Gary recalled one day accidentally reading one of his scrapped papers, words reading, “Your teeth are so white, they reflect the moonlight and pierce my eyes.”  
The only reason Stan would be poetic was if he was feeling depressed about something, but Gary knew Stan was normally just about every day, though he would never admit it.  
Gary nodded, "Yes, I was waiting for a reply! Have a good day, Stan!" He gave a small laugh and added, "And I can’t apologize for my teeth!" The alcohol bottle had captured Gary’s attention, preventing him from turning away. Hands tucked in his jacket’s pockets as he stood in place, his smile almost faltering.  
"Are you waiting for something to happen? Wait, did you walk all this way just to talk to me?" Stan sighed and stood up after receiving a concerned look from Gary. He finished by saying, "Never mind. Go away." He picked up the empty bottle and hurled it across the road, avoiding Gary's direction. The bottle smashed into little pieces upon the sidewalk farthest from him. Then Stan turned and stepped into his house, disappearing behind the front door.  
Littering anywhere in public was a complete disappointment to Gary. He thought about picking up the glass shards and throwing them in the trash, but there wouldn't be anything to clean up any possible cuts that would be made by the glass. Besides, the young man had nothing to sanitize his hands from the remaining alcohol. Perhaps Stan had done the action for show and would clean it up later. Despite his usual predictability, Stan had become unpredictable lately.  
He's something, Gary thought to himself. What that something was, Gary didn’t know, but Stan was certainly something. They used to be friends, but a disagreement had come between them and Gary had to walk away for a while. That while had turned into years of awkwardness, and eventually, Stan couldn't face him. They drifted away and never spoke to each other. It’s like a tragic love story, one of Stan’s friends had said at the start of their falter.  
It was a tragic love story, indeed. Perhaps they could be friends again.  
The walk carried on as Gary thought of possible conversation starters. What selection of words to use when mending a damaged friendship? His last words before walking away back then were not the nicest nor Mormon-friendly, of course. Then again, Stan had put down Gary's family and their beliefs. He deserved the embarrassment the young man gave him in front of his friends.  
No one gets away with hurting his family. However, forgiveness persisted as the number one rule in the Harrisons' home. Instead of keeping grudges, only uncomfortable embarrassment remained between the two.  
Gary could think of no way to befriend Stan again, but he knew it would not be impossible. He knew he needed to spend more time thinking about it.  
\---   
Gary prepared breakfast as soon as he arrived home. His older sister and brother, Jennifer and Mark, had long left the house to begin college. It was Gary's responsibility to take care of his younger brother and sister, David and Amanda.  
Make them breakfast, get them ready for school, walk them to the bus stop, get them off the bus, make them snacks, help them with homework, and get them ready for bed. If he wasn't there, his mom or dad would gladly take his place. They were a close family of love, and Gary couldn’t ask for more in life.  
Karen, his mother, walked into the kitchen and greeted Gary with a smile. She was already dressed, amber hair perfectly brushed, and ready to start the day. Gary smiled back as he continued preparing breakfast. No need to say anything; smiles were worth a thousand words after all.  
Two bowls of oatmeal with slices of apples, and two glasses of orange juice were made for his brother and sister. He set them at the family dining room table and walked into their rooms. Amanda was the youngest at 7 and David was only 10.  
When Jennifer had left the house, Amanda reluctantly took over her bedroom although she would sometimes sleep between their parents whenever she was feeling alone or scared. David kept his room even after being offered Mark's old room. He didn't want to miss his older brother more that way. Gary finally had a room all to himself since Mark’s departure.  
Moving to a smaller home was out of the question, since both Mark and Jen would come back during break to stay before leaving again. They stayed in dorms, both at separate colleges. Until they have a place of their own, Mr. Harrison wouldn’t move the rest of them out for anything.  
After noticing dad had taken over waking the youngest two, Gary went back to his own room for a second to rest. With nothing else to do for the moment, he sat down on his bed. The clock ticked in the silence of Gary’s comfort. He sighed out softly and thought for a moment; first walk Amanda and David to the bus stop and wait for them to get on, then walk back to Stan's house. Or call first?  
The alcohol bottle was what worried the young man; something addictive like that could take over a person's life and ruin them forever. Gary didn't want to turn away from that; he felt very responsible if something were to happen to Stan.  
There was a knock at his door, pulling Gary away from his thoughts. He looked to see his dad standing in the doorway. They exchanged smiles before his dad spoke up, "What's wrong? I can tell by the look on your face something's bothering you."  
Gary knew he could always trust his dad, he was smart and understanding, something he looked up to. "It’s about a certain person, I won't say their name. I'm worried about them, but I'm also scared to talk to them, like to confront them about their problem. I don't know what I should do."  
Mr. Harrison walked in and sat beside Gary on his bed. "Is this person a close friend of yours? Even if they’re not, it’s okay to feel concerned over them. All you have to do is have a talk with them so they know they’re not alone, and hope they get better soon! It’s no good to worry so much about someone, only just a little. Don't let them take over your mood like a leech, okay?"  
"So... I shouldn't help them? What if they're in possible life-long danger?"  
His father's eyes widened with both interest and concern, "That depends on the issue! I'm glad you've decided to step up to help them! Now, what is it they're doing that's concerning you? What are they doing?"  
"They're doing something concerning, that’s all." He didn't want to say exactly who it was and what they were doing, in fear of his father intervening the wrong way.  
Mr. Harrison suggested, "Pray for them! Stay with them until they see the light again, no matter how long it will take, because recovery takes time." He looked over to the clock on Gary's dresser as he added, "Why don't you take your siblings out to the bus, and afterwards you can go talk to this person, okay?"  
Gary nodded and thanked him. He watched his dad leave the room before he stood up from his bed. The thought of giving up on someone was never an option for Gary; he would stay with Stan until his alcohol addiction cleared up. Or at least whatever was going on with him. He knew people can drink and not be addicted- Mark was an example. Secretly drinking coffee in the mornings only on college campus.  
In the end, consuming something “addictive” shouldn’t make one an addict- at least Gary had hoped so.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2! I have to do some edits for the rest. Lemme know if there's something I need to fix, be it grammar or paragraph spacing! (Updates are very slow)

Despite their lessons of overcoming anxiety, Gary felt like the only Mormon who felt such negative emotions at times. He had learned to welcome them rather than replace them with a false sense of positivity, as long as he refused to let the negativity consume him. Gary knew when to feel sad or anxious and when to get better.  
Standing in front of the Marshs’ front door gave him anxiety. Gary had walked all that way on a second trip just to talk to Stan. Nothing is going to stop him. No turning back. Just knock on the door or ring the bell and ask to come in. Nothing to be nervous about! It's not like things are awkward between the two and their family, right?  
Gary took a deep breath and raised his hand to the bell, but the door swung open. An older woman, obviously Stan’s mother, jumped back a little with surprise, "Oh, I'm sorry, young man! I didn't notice you were there!"  
He's met Mrs. Marsh before, but he's never really gotten to know her. She was one of those typical overbearing mothers, in both a positive and negative way. Gary smiled at her, "That's alright, ma'am! Good morning! Is Stan awake?"  
"If you're here to talk to him, he's upstairs. I'll bring you to his room real quick, but then I have to leave; I have somewhere I need to be soon." Gary thanked her and walked into the house, closing the door behind him and following Mrs. Marsh. She led him up the stairs and through a short hallway to a closed door.  
Mrs. Marsh knocked before opening, "Stan, one of your friends is here- Oh, you have another friend over?" She smiled as a mother would when her child was doing something great for once, "That's good, that's progress! I'm proud of you, sweetie! I have to leave now, and I don't want to come home to a mess, okay? Goodbye, I love you." She walked away, disappearing down the stairs and out the door in only a matter of seconds.  
With hesitation, Gary walked into Stan's room. Stan was sitting on his bed while his closest friend Kyle stood by the door. Stan rolled his eyes upon seeing Gary, in which Kyle was the first to speak up "Dude, seriously? You stopped hanging out with us to be with this guy?”  
"No." Stan looked at Gary, then back at Kyle. "I have no idea why the hell he's here in the first place." He looked at Gary again, "What do you want." It didn't sound like a question, which made Gary regret showing up.  
The young man immediately tucked the regret away and thought with positivity. What could go wrong? Nothing but rejection, and rejection was a part of life! Gary smiled as he answered, "There's something I wanted to talk to you about, but I realize now that I should have called you first. If you're busy right now, I can step out and wait, I won't mind!"  
Kyle scowled towards Stan as he replied to the situation, "That's okay, I was just about to leave anyways. Have fun with your new best buddy, Stan." As Kyle walked out of the room and down the stairs, Stan went after him.  
"He's not my best buddy, and I already told you I have no clue why he's here! And for the record, I never left you guys, you all left me! So I don't want to hear about it!" The front door slammed behind Kyle, followed by footsteps storming up the stairs.  
Stan stopped in front of Gary with a frown on his face. Receiving an awkward apologetic smile from the blonde didn't change anything, only making him cross his arms and sigh. "You were here earlier because you wanted something, at like, 6 in the morning, and you came back. Just tell me what you need already."  
Instead of answering, an off topic detail was noticed and mentioned right away, "Stan, you've grown since the last time we spoke! Wow, you're only an inch above me now!" Eight years, and finally a slight height difference was present.  
Stan rolled his eyes, obviously too annoyed to take in the astonishing discovery, "That's good to know. What do you want."  
The lack of emotion in his tone prompted Gary to get on with the topic. He lowered his humor and answered, “It’s about that alcohol bottle-" Gary was pushed into Stan's bedroom and the door was quickly closed. Stan turned around and stared hard at him, as if Gary had shouted the truth to the world. “What’s wrong?” Gary asked.  
"My dad might still be here, so keep your voice down." The young man kept his own voice low, keeping his eyes slightly narrowed with subtle interest about the topic. "The bottle I was drinking from? What about it?"  
They were not on the same page. "Why don't you want your dad to know? Family trust is very important!"  
Stan sighed, "Yeah, I know, that's why I don't want my dad or mom finding out. They would make a big deal out of it and most likely argue with each other instead of just sitting down and talking to me." He then rolled his eyes, "Why am I even opening up to you? Tell me what you want to say and get out of here."  
Gary began feeling nervous again, so at long last he spoke his intent, "I thought you could need a friend! I mean, that bottle had alcohol, I’m sure." He smiled to show generosity, but the other didn't smile in return.  
"Are you saying I have an alcohol addiction?" Stan let out a low sigh before continuing, "I don’t need any more friends to bother me about this.”  
"That's the addiction talking!" Gary stepped closer, "I can help you! I know things between us were awkward before, but we can work together on getting you back to feeling happy again!"  
Finally, Stan snapped. "You’ve been a stranger to me the day you walked out, and you’re still one today! You’re wrong; I don’t have an addiction, so get out!”  
“Okay, so it’s not an addiction! Maybe all you need is a friend!” His words had spilled out of desperation, but out of what Gary didn’t know. Never leave another behind; it was something he had been taught before. Be kind, be a friend.  
Strained silence filled the space between the two young men for a moment. Gary never left Stan’s eyes, searching for any hint of emotion, but only seeing a frown. It was less of a negative emotion and more of a concentration, a hard focus on Gary’s words.  
Gary wanted to tell him, I promise I won’t walk out like the rest of them, but he held himself back. He hoped the emotions in his eyes were enough to speak for him.  
Then, relaxing his face a bit, Stan softly sighed. “Let’s… Get breakfast. We’ll talk then, I guess.” As he turned and stepped out of his room, Gary followed.  
“Hey,” the young blond said as they stepped down the hall together, “I’m sorry if I interrupted something between you and Kyle.”  
“You’re alright,” Stan mumbed. “He was reminding me of- basically about how shitty of a person I’ve been.” They stepped down the stairs together through the silence of the home.  
“I don’t think you’re bad at all! It’s not nice of him to think of you that way. Isn’t he supposed to be a friend to you?” When Stan didn’t answer as the two stepped through the living room and into the kitchen Gary spoke up again. “So, he’s not your friend? Did something happen?”  
Asking someone why they weren’t friends with someone who used to be so close together was a rude question that even Gary knew, but he couldn’t help his curiosity. Besides, anyone in town would want to know something so personal. What happened to the dynamic duo? The obvious one-sided crush? The best friends in the entire town?  
But Stan did not want to answer, and Gary had to understand. Still, he wanted to relate so he wouldn’t feel so down about not having his “friends” as friends anymore. “I never really had friends in high school.” It was a realization he had come to terms with during one sleepless night in his life. It stuck with him since.  
“But they liked you. They all wanted to talk to you.”  
“Yeah, but they all didn’t want to hang out with me or invite me over or out to places with them. I was the most social guy there; of course everyone felt comfortable talking to me! But that never meant they were friends, they were just being friendly.”  
The refrigerator was searched for any sign of good food that wasn’t leftover from the past week. In the meantime, Stan continued to speak, “No one liked me, but they kept me around as if to prove that there’s always a downer in every group.” He grabbed something in a plastic container and muttered, “What a shitty reason.”  
No words of protest came from Gary, only because he half-agreed with that reason; Stan usually was the downer of everything. Religion, organizations, veganism. He would always say “Why?” or “What’s the point in that?” Those words would make people think. When you think about it, things become depressing. Why waste time helping others when you can’t help yourself? When problems are going to happen after being fixed? Why enjoy a game when it’s pretty much the same mechanics as the last?  
Because why not! Gary knew a lot of people do things “for the heck of it!” It was obvious who the sunlight and the moonlight were between the two.  
Seemingly to have given up on searching for food, Stan turned his attention to work on the coffee machine. “I was about to offer you some, but I think I know the answer.” He turned to meet a polite smile. “Don’t you hate it?”  
“What?” the young blond asked.  
“Your strict lifestyle. It must suck not being able to drink coffee or literally everything else in the world.” Stan poured himself a mug full of coffee.  
Again, the comparison of sun and moon became relevant. Gary shrugged it off and explained, “I never had coffee or caffeine before, so it doesn’t really matter to me. But I can still have tea as long as there’s no caffeine in it! Besides, a healthy lifestyle is better than having a cloudy and drugged brain.”  
Stan frowned and shook his head, “There you go again.”  
“Listen,” Gary said softly, “I won’t take you away from drinking anything as long as you don’t tempt me to drink caffeine or alcohol. It’s all a matter of having respect for one another! At least you’re not smoking.”  
“Dude, I’d be in the hospital if I smoked; I’m an asthmatic.” A text notification had sounded from Stan’s phone. He checked the message, went back and forth with someone, then sighed and spoke up again. “Kyle wants me to hang out with fat-ass today. You can come too, if you want.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if there's anything I need to fix, be it grammar or line spacing! Otherwise, enjoy!

Turning it down was a thought, whereas being polite and accepting the offer seemed better- but it sounded desperate to want to have friends. Gary didn’t want to bother the group, but Stan had insisted. Besides, Gary wanted to be a part of his progress.  
“That’s progress! I’m proud of you.”  
Gary thought about what Mrs. Marsh had said to her son. Progress must have meant how Stan was recovering from his- depression?- something. It was something that would make him push away his friends. Gary hoped he could cheer him up on their day out together, unless his friends would beat him to it. In that case, the young man wouldn’t mind. After all they knew Stan much longer than he had. What mattered most is how close and happy they would all feel by the end of the day; Gary had hopes.  
The only one who might ruin the plan would be Eric, at least that was an underlying worry deep inside of Gary’s mind. He didn’t want to think anything negative of anyone, but this case was different for obvious reasons.  
He was noticeable in the distance; round and wearing a white shirt with his favorite blue and yellow hat on his head. Already he was bickering with Kyle about who-knows-what. Stan muttered under his breath about making a mistake, then saying aloud, “I want to head back. I’m not gonna stand listening to them argue all day.”  
A smile was meant to reassure the young man, “Don’t worry, I won’t let that happen! Before it does, I’ll try switching the topic!”  
“No, that’s how they get along,” Stan said through a sigh, “It’s that I don’t have the energy to listen to them. They’re like an old married couple; constantly bickering about one thing or another.”  
We could always do something else together, just the two of us, Gary wanted to say, but held himself back. Those words he felt for some reason put a feeling of anxiety inside of him.  
Then Stan turned to him, looked him in the eyes and warned, “Whatever you do, don’t get between them.”  
Pacifism was the key to peace and love, as taught by his church elders and parents. Gary had to agree with Stan, as much as he did not want arguments or fights breaking out in front of him while he couldn’t do anything about it.  
When the two were noticed walking closer to Stan’s friends, Eric immediately smiled and said with a loud voice, “Aw, you guys didn’t tell me Stan’s rejected lover from the past was gonna join us today!” He threw an arm around the blond’s shoulder and asked, “How’ve you been, Gray?”  
Stan looked away from the small group, as if feeling secondhand embarrassment. Gary laughed as he replied, “Gray? Was that a verbal typo? Nah, I’ve been great! I get to hang outwith-”  
“Yeah, we don’t really care,” Eric said as he kept his arm around Gary. “So, what are we gonna do today? ‘Cause we can’t go smilin’ the flowers like a bunch of damn hippies, we can’t go out for lunch or the vegan’s gonna cry, and let's remember not to go to the park when Stan threw up on Wendy- where she also broke up with him!”  
Kyle took his turn to speak as he crossed his arms, “That’s enough. We’re here to hang out, not rag on the other and throw a hissy fit.”  
Still facing away from the three, Stan asked without much care in his voice, “Where’s Kenny?”  
“Dead!” Eric announced with a smile. “Took a dip in the pond one night, and never returned. That’s probably why we got Gare Bear to take his place! Right, Gary?” Something told the young blond how the day was going to be a long one if nothing will change the pace.  
“He’s not dead,” Kyle corrected. “He’s at home with his sister, she got sick. I won’t be surprised if he catches it, too.”  
It had to be seasonal allergies, Gary knew what it was like to care deeply about another sibling. Jennifer and Amanda would always catch a springtime cold. He hoped that would be something to bond together over; family care!  
Already Gary knew Kyle’s family, Stan’s family (most definitely), Kenny’s family and Eric’s mother. Besides the Marsh family, Gary did not know the others on a personal level, more like he knew of them, but not their interactions and closeness. He wondered if everyone got along with their parents and siblings. The young man couldn’t imagine what it was like to not be able to love a member of your family.  
It even hurt him to think about it.  
“Alright, fine.” Stan turned around, as if fed up with having no plans yet. “Let’s just walk. I don’t care where to; I just want to get today done and over with.”  
As the small group began walking forward along the sidewalk, Eric teased Stan over his grumpy attitude. “Did you get enough sleep? Or are you still pissed about Wendy?” He laughed, not removing his arm from Gary’s shoulders as they moved along.  
Taking the lead with Stan beside him, Kyle spoke up, looking forward instead of back at the other two. “Leave him alone, and get your arm off of him. You’re probably breaking his neck with your fat arm.”  
Eric shot a glare at his friend's direction and said, "Piss off, Kyle!" He then glanced at Gary with innocent eyes. "I don't have a fat arm, do I, Gary?"  
"Don't answer," Stan ordered with indifference.  
"See, Gary? All these guys do is pick on me and-"  
"And all you do is," Gary interrupted this time, "take advantage of their weaknesses or flaws and use it to put them down, to make you feel better about yourself. It's the reason why they- or so you think- pick on you." He smiled, "Am I right?"  
There was a hidden look of dread in Stan's and Kyle's eyes. For a short moment, Eric seemed to be taken aback by the young man's words. He then pushed Gary away and stormed ahead of the three, muttering profanities under his breath along the way. Gary straightened up and put his hands in his pockets, trying his hardest not to feel bad about upsetting Eric. He deserved it, after all.  
He glanced at Stan, but the young man's expression never changed. He glanced at Kyle, yet still, nothing was different. The silence was beginning to feel awkward, and Gary secretly wished for his mother or father to call him back home.  
\---   
The three friends avoided talking about family and tried to talk about their favorite television shows. Apparently, after high school, they never bothered to watch the same ones. It probably no longer mattered to keep up with the mainstream with everyone else. Gary couldn't keep up with certain shows since he was only allowed to watch educational ones with his younger siblings.  
Kyle and Eric wanted to stop at the town's cafe for coffee, but Stan informed them that Gary couldn't drink coffee. It meant the world to Gary that his old friend remembered such an important fact about him. The recognition made him smile, yet the other two's lack of understanding brought Gary back down to reality.  
"Who doesn't let their child drink coffee?" Kyle asked in disbelief.  
Eric sighed dramatically, "Only the Holy Father doesn't. Right, Gary?"  
The young man tried to explain himself, "Not exactly. See, it's more like-"  
Stan interrupted, "Let's get off the topic and keep walking."  
Noontime came around, but none of the four had any ideas on what to do for the day. They didn't want to go back to one of their homes for lunch, and they didn't want to go to any diners or restaurants. Besides, Stan didn't bring money with him. Kenny would usually be the broke one in the group. Through generosity, Gary thought about helping Stan to pay for his lunch, but he did not want to risk embarrassing him in front of the other two.  
The group thought about watching a movie together, but when they arrived at the Movie Complex, the screenings did not appear to be too appealing. Alongside the fact, Gary would not have been able to view such content.  
"Just our luck," Kyle complained, "we turn eighteen and today's movies turn to shit."  
They ended up sitting on a curb in the sunlight. The day was warming up after noontime, causing Gary to remove his denim jacket and white beanie. Kyle kept his hat on, claiming that his hair was a constant unforgiving mess. Eric took off his jacket, revealing multiple colorful plastic wristbands on both arms, at which he had claimed were "kewl." Stan kept on his jacket and hat, catching Kyle's attention.  
He asked with suspicion in his tone, "Why aren't you taking that off, Stan? Aren't you hot?"  
The young man shrugged with indifference, "I'm not that warm, so why would I?"  
"Well, it's as they say," Eric chimed in, "a lack of protein leads to a lack of blood, which is why your ass is always cold."  
Gary kept quiet as he wanted to correct Eric's misinformation. A lack of protein leads to a lack of iron or oxygen in the blood, consequently leading to cold bodies and sluggishness. It made him wonder if that was Stan's current condition.  
"My ass isn't always cold, I'm just not that warm at the moment," Stan tried to explain.  
"Is that really it?" Kyle asked. "Or, have you been-"  
It was noticeable to the three how quickly Stan had become defensive. He glared in disgust at his friend, "I don't do that, Kyle. That's for people who think they're fucked up. I'm not like them; I'll never be like them. The world is fucked up for making them believe they're the fucked up ones."  
"Okay, okay," Kyle showed indifference towards his friend's defense. "You don't need to go off about your conspiracies again, okay? We get it, you think the world-"  
Stan stood up immediately, causing Kyle to stand for the argument that was beginning to unravel. Following suit, Eric and Gary stood on either side of the two. Gary tried to prevent a possible fight, "Let's not get each other too upset now, okay? Let's try thinking of something else to talk about! Let's talk about flowers!"  
The two childhood friends were glaring at each other, not paying attention to anyone around them. They were ignoring Gary's words, even Eric, who was more interested in seeing a physical fight break out before him.  
He continued anyway, "What're everyone's favorite flowers? My favorite is a daisy! I like it because-  
"What are you gonna do, Stan?" Kyle kept his stance, ready to defend himself. He didn't look scared or threatened at all. Besides, he was a bit taller than his friend.  
Gary tried again, a little louder than before, trying his best to not falter from his explanation, "I like daisies because they represent innocence and purity! See, there's always meaning to-"  
"Let's go," Stan ordered as he glanced at Gary. He then turned around, avoiding further eye contact with Kyle. "We're done here, Gary. Don't tell me you agree with them and want to stay. If that's the case, then be my guest and good-fucking-bye." He began storming with anger away from the three.  
For a delayed second, Gary stood in stunned silence, then he apologized to Eric and Kyle before running off for Stan. The two said nothing about his sympathy.  
For a while, their walk continued in silence. It caused Gary to feel uneasy about the previous situation. He was worried he had ruined a friendship, especially ruining his chance with helping Stan feel better again. A thought entered his head that Stan, once again, hated him.  
He thought so, until Stan finally spoke up. "My favorite flower is a hydrangea. I don't know the meaning or anything, I just like them."  
Gary answered with a smile, "Hydrangeas represent sincere emotions and the appreciation of feeling understood! They are very pretty!"  
"That really sucks to have a favorite flower represent something you're not. What a laugh. No one understands me no matter what I try to say, heartfelt or not." Stan went silent for a moment before agreeing, "Daisies are white, but I guess they're okay."  
It made Gary smile to know Stan had been listening to him the whole time. He wondered what would have happened if he hadn't kept talking, let alone if he hadn't been there at all. Eric would have encouraged a physical fight for sure. Gary blocked out the thought of violence; he was raised to be a pacifist and therefore dreaded everything about fists colliding with faces.  
They continued walking together, destination unknown. Perhaps they were headed back to Stan's house, Gary's thoughts went. The young man tried to distract himself from the hunger that was beginning to gnaw at his stomach. Asking to head back to Stan's house would be completely rude, no matter the issue.  
Yet, Gary had run out of topics to speak of. He tried thinking of something, but couldn't think of anything. Instead, he tried observing the scenery around him.  
The snow had been slowly melting with each passing hour. Birds flew around in the sky while some rested on the tops of the small buildings. Many adults passed by, some on their phones while others held grocery bags. It nearly killed Gary to see them struggle while he couldn't do anything to help. He didn't want to annoy Stan further than he already was, so he had to hold his kindness back.  
"You're having lunch at my place, then we'll talk about how you think you're gonna help me." Stan didn't even glance at Gary; he only walked with his hands in his pockets and his eyes on the path ahead of him.  
Gary nodded, "Okay! I hope I'm not-"  
"No, Gary, for the love of God. You're not intruding, so stop saying that."  
There wasn't even a hint of irritation in his voice, yet Gary felt a little nervous. He still worried about making Stan upset and annoyed, but he was too scared to ask for reassurance. It could make things worse, he thought. Instead of speaking up, he kept quiet and continued smiling.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: underage drinking.

"I need a nap."  
Those words were the first and only thing Stan had said since walking through the front door of his home. As if he had forgotten about Gary, they walked up to his bedroom. The door stayed open. Eye contact was made for only a split second. Stan's eyes said "don't bother me," so Gary had no choice but to sit on the floor of the hallway in loneliness. That's when the door closed, cutting him off from the company. It was almost like being treated as a stray dog.  
The young man stared at the bedroom door, wondering when Stan would walk out again. He was hungry and it was almost an hour past noon, but he didn't want to be rude and disappear. To make the time pass, Gary needed a distraction.  
"Keep Out" was printed in caps lock on a piece of paper taped to Stan's door. Gary tried to think about what it could mean. Maybe it was supposed to keep out his sister or his parents, or maybe it was a warning of "knock before entering." Gary tilted his head at his next thought; perhaps it's symbolic, representing how Stan didn't want anyone from entering his life.  
His stomach growled.  
Not being able to stand it much longer, Gary stood up and timidly knocked on the door. He didn't open it, but he spoke, "Stan? You're not taking a nap, are you?" He waited for an answer, but there was no response. He tried again, "I'll go home if you want me to unless you really do want me to stay. I mean, I'm getting hungry and food is important after all." Still, only silence answered.  
Gary sighed, then realized that Stan hadn't even eaten any breakfast. "Stan, you need to eat something! Maybe that's why you think you need a nap." He waited a few more seconds before continuing, "Alright, I'll keep talking. What's your favorite fruit? I heard you're a vegan, that's cool! I respect you! My favorite fruits are bananas and strawberries! Oh, did you know that raspberries aren't actually berries? That's weird but cool, right?"  
Finally, the door swung open. Gary straightened up as he held his smile in front of a flat expression. Stan claimed, "Fruit is fruit, and a raspberry can be a berry if it wants." He didn't look like he had been sleeping, but Gary didn't mind. Maybe he needed to be alone for a moment to recharge. Disputes and walking around can take up too much energy for someone lethargic.  
Keeping his grin, Gary informed, "Strawberries aren't berries. Pumpkins are berries!"  
"So?" Stan leaned forward, "You like fake berries and tree dicks. Good to know." He smirked as Gary's cheeks turned pink.  
"No! No, Stan, they're bananas from trees! And strawberries, umm, they're-"  
Stan slipped past the flustered young man and closed the door behind him. He then walked down the stairs as he said, "Whatever, believe what you want to believe. If I want to call them tree-dicks, then let me call them tree-dicks."  
Gary followed after him while giving in, "Okay, but if you ever meet my family again, please don't say that in front of them!"  
"Whatever."  
They stepped through the quiet living room and into the empty kitchen. Gary felt as if they were the only two left in the world, which made him feel uneasy. To break the silence, he asked, "Where are your parents?"  
Stan shrugged, "Who knows? Mom probably came back with food but left again, probably to hang out with other moms. Dad might be out somewhere being obnoxious." He sighed and looked through the fridge. "I don't care. It's nice being alone, just me and my bedroom. No friends, no animals, no sister." He looked at Gary, "Then you showed up."  
Gary watched Stan rummage throughout his kitchen until he found a bowl of apples, which had been hidden in plain sight by a window. He was offered one, which he gladly accepted, and they sat at the table in the dining room together.  
Silence took over the room, saved from the sounds of teeth slowly slicing through apples. Gary was used to holding a constant conversation with his family, therefore sitting in silence with another while eating together felt awkward to him.  
He tried to start something, but Stan spoke up first. "I don't think I'm ever gonna meet your family again. I don't really like them."  
There he goes again, Gary thought to himself as he tried his best to smile. "That's okay, I understand."  
"When was the last time I spoke to them?"  
The young man thought for a moment before recalling, "I think we were eight years old." He then smiled and added, "Has it been that long? Wow!"  
Stan finished his apple before he responded, "It's already been 10 years? I still can't stand them. Do they hold grudges?"  
"Nope! We're very forgiving people! Although, I'm sure they're still a bit upset about being invited over for dinner just to get dragged by an 8-year-old, followed by getting physically kicked out of the house before dinner was even prepared by the same 8-year-old." Gary gave a sarcastic smile, although he meant no harm.  
"Dude," Stan stood up and walked into the kitchen as he spoke, "I didn't understand you guys, and of course a kid that young would think you all were brainwashing my dad." He threw away his apple core into the garbage as he continued, "I mean, even my dad agreed with me. He agrees with everyone."  
Gary stood up and proceeded to do the same. "Yeah, I know. I'm sure they're okay about it by now. What's the point of staying in the past? It's better to move on!" He followed Stan through the dining room, then the living room, and back up the stairs. "People learn from their mistakes, you know? Our mistake was getting too excited about our first family dinner invitation."  
Before stepping into his room, Stan stopped and turned to Gary. There was a look of guilt in his eyes as he asked, "First? At the time? You mean to tell me I shattered your family's hopes of making friends?"  
Gary tried to explain, "Not exactly, no! It didn't work out with your family, so we moved on! My parents have a few friends here. Jennifer and Mark are already living on their own, and my youngest two have some friends at school. As for myself, it's as you had said: people liked me, but they didn't want to hang out with me."  
Stan opened his door and allowed Gary to walk in first, following behind and closing the door behind them. He brought up the past, "People wanted to kick your ass and called you a bitch the first day you moved here, yet you smiled anyway. After that, they began to like you, probably because you were a show-off and a smart-ass."  
"That's half true," Gary laughed. Back then, he was scared of getting beaten up, but he would try to make friends. Stan was the first to threaten him, only to realize he was sent by others with no other choice.  
"I'm gonna take a nap this time. I don't know about you, but there's a desk chair if you're tired." Stan stepped past Gary and crawled over the blanket on his bed. He pulled the curtains closed, blocking out all light from the window.  
Then, Stan said, "Don't even think about trying to lay next to me. Nap in the chair or on the floor, or leave my room and go home."  
"Alright. Well, have a good nap." The room went silent after that, so Gary decided to lay on the floor. In the silence, he wondered when Stan would wake up again. Was he even sleeping, he asked himself, or was it another test of patience? Test or not, Gary did not want to leave for anything until Stan would specifically tell him.  
The young man examined his surroundings to pass the time. A dark blue curtain covered the window by Stan's bed. Another window was closed off by blinds. The room was dark for daytime.  
Wrappers, papers, and clothes littered the carpet floor. A trash can was filled to the brim with the same contents as the floor, except it didn't have clothes in it. Only a sock that probably had been thrown without any direction. The top of the desk was also cluttered.  
Across the room, on top of a dresser was a fishbowl full of murky water, but no fish. A guitar on a stand was located at the foot of Stan's bed, which made Gary wonder how good Stan was at playing it. In an off-topic thought, Gary knew it was something they had in common: they played an instrument.  
"Gary," A hushed voice from Stan spoke through the dimness.  
"Yeah?"  
"I can't sleep, but I don't want to get up. I just needed quiet and isolation, but you can keep talking if you want to. Just keep your voice down, or I'll get a headache." There was movement on the bed, indicating that Stan rolled over to lay on his back instead of his side. "There's a small bottle at the bottom of my dresser. I kind of need it right now."  
"You mean alcohol?" Gary began to feel tense. He didn't want to be in the same room as someone who would be drinking.  
"Yeah. Look, you can try to stop me from drinking all you want, but a person can't just stop right away. You need to ease them off. Get it?" The tone in Stan's voice sounded guilty.  
"Yeah, I understand." Gary wanted to refuse, but he got up on his knees and crawled over to the dresser. He opened the drawer, felt around until his hand touched a bottle, took it out, and closed the drawer. He realized the alcoholic habit was the reason for the "Keep Out" sign on the door.  
Gary crawled over to the bed and handed it over, receiving a quiet "thanks" from Stan. Then he laid on the floor again.  
The young man stared at the ceiling and noticed something glowing above him. "I like the stars on your ceiling, they're really pretty!" They were silver and shiny, something that always fascinated him.  
"That sounded gay. They're just stars."  
"Yeah, but I like them! They're visible in the darkness, which proves that light can never go out."  
"Gary, these stars suck. They fade out after 15 minutes because they're old."  
He went silent for a second before disputing, "Well, they're still glowing!" He sighed in admiration and smiled, "It's nice to lay here on the floor, gazing at the stars. As long as they're there and you're seeing them with me, that's all that matters right now."  
Stan started coughing, probably choking on his drink. Gary tried to find what he said wrong, but he couldn't find anything. Stan warned him, "Dude, keep talking like that and you'll never see me again. You know what? I want to be alone now."  
Finally, Gary decided it was best to leave. Still, he didn't know what was wrong, but he assumed Stan needed to be alone. He stood up and promised, "I'll be back tomorrow. Until then, take care of yourself! Goodbye!"  
Knowing he wasn't gonna receive a "goodbye" in return, Gary felt for the door and opened it. He stepped out into the light of the hallway and closed the door behind him. Perhaps Stan was tired after all. Talking too much could consume only so much energy.  
As he walked through the house and out the door, he wondered what they would do together the next day. After all, he promised he wouldn't give up on Stan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a channel on Youtube where I talk about my projects (also I do book reviews). I have an editing vlog for this work already up, and a part two going up next Thursday, but after that I'll be working on other non-fanfiction projects. If anyone would like to support me, feel free to subscribe to my channel! It's not mainly all fanfiction, in which I would understand if you're not interested in checking it out for that reason :)
> 
> Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEy1muMLtQjvZJ88PRYz6zg/about  
> Editing vlog for this project: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhOvTydyCm8


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW :: Emetophobia, underage drinking (18 year old).

Gary forgot.  
He didn't forget about his promise to hang out with Stan, but he did forget about Jennifer's plan to visit the same day. Gary realized he didn't have any way to contact Stan. He didn't want to miss hanging out with Jennifer, but promises were important to him. Then again, his family was also very important. Stan needed someone to help him. Family is life-long.  
The young man had no choice but to let Stan go for the day. However, worry nagged at the front of his mind. It was not good to worry, but this one would not leave him no matter how hard he tried to distract himself. It was a pang of guilt he was going to carry until he could gain Stan's forgiveness.  
The day passed by with fun and guilt, and before Gary knew it, night had fallen. He had planned to sneak out when everyone went to bed, but it was family night. Of course, how could he have forgotten about that, too? He needed a break to prevent going into a mental meltdown, so Gary walked out of the house and sat on the front steps.  
Sneaking out behind his parent's backs, let alone abandoning family night, were considered disrespectful. He was at a loss in choices. For once in his life, Gary was lost.  
The door opened behind him and a soft voice asked quietly, "Is everything alright?" It was from Jennifer. She was smiling, but her tone expressed concern.  
Lying was not an option, but he did not want to worry her. Gary turned to look up at his sister and answered, "There's a friend I need to visit. I promised to see him today, but I didn't do that. I don't have his phone number to text him. I didn't want to miss you today, that's why I couldn't see him."  
Jennifer leaned down next to him. "For you to worry so much, he must be important to you. I didn't think you had a friend, to be honest. You were usually quiet about people in school." She always reminded Gary of their mother: kind and beautiful. Amber hair, teal eyes, and fair skin.  
"Why don't you go see him right now? I'll tell our parents you had a friend in need of visiting. Be sure to make it back home before too late, okay?"  
The two hugged, something Gary was always glad for. Hugs were life and love to him. He smiled at his sister as a way of saying "Thanks," then he stood up from the steps. Gary started making his way to Stan's house.  
\---   
There he was, sitting alone under a streetlamp. The school building was close by, but Gary wondered if Stan knew where he was. He watched him from a distance, noticing another alcohol bottle in his hand. It was bigger than the one Stan had the day before. He felt a tremendous amount of guilt from the sight, which worsened when Stan took a swig from the bottle.  
Not a single emotion shone on the young man's face. Stan stared straight ahead of him, unaware of Gary's presence. There would be no use standing around, letting him drink more than he would need to. Gary took a deep breath to gather up his courage and slowly approached him. "Hey," he said in a careful tone.  
It was enough to startle the young man from his silence. As if in a daze, Stan looked up at him. "Oh, look, it's the Mormon who promised he wouldn't ditch me. Hey, Gary, how's it going today? Did you have fun without me?" He did not smile, he only glared up at the blonde.  
"I'm sorry," they were the only words Gary could find. A simple apology to him was enough for forgiveness, but he knew Stan was not like him.  
"Yeah? Just like everyone else?" He attempted to stand up on his feet, supporting himself against the streetlamp. "I'm gonna go tear this town apart. You with me?"  
Gary shook his head in soft protest, "No, Stan. I'm gonna walk you home." He already failed at preventing his friend from drinking, so the most he could do was to bring him back home, back to the warmth and safety of his bed.  
"Right, right. Yeah, you won't keep that promise." Stan held the bottle in one hand, most likely empty at that point. He kept his other hand in his jacket's pocket. The young man tried to walk forward, but he stumbled on his steps. Gary supported him, linking arms, and began to step forward with carefulness.  
"I already apologized, is there anything else you want?"  
"Are you that worried over not getting forgiveness from me? You people sure are weird. Your God isn't gonna strike you down with lightning if that's what you're scared of." The raven hair boy avoided meeting the blonde's eyes.  
The fear was the truth, and Gary couldn't hide from it. "Yeah, that's a part of it. But I want to make it up to you. I broke a promise, and there shouldn't be any excuses."  
"What's your excuse." It sounded more like an accusation rather than a question.  
Gary looked ahead of them as he claimed, "I don't have your phone number. I couldn't text you about my sister visiting, and that it was family night. I was lucky enough to leave my house to find you." He looked at Stan and added, "It wouldn't have helped to talk to your friends, seeing as they seem to hate me for some reason."  
Shrugging, Stan smirked and unlinked their arms. "Yeah, they sure do hate you. Probably because you're Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes and a smart-ass." He turned off the sidewalk and strayed into a field.  
With a sigh, Gary went after him. "I don't mind it, really. If they hate me, that's their choice. I can't change them."  
"See? Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes! You don't care about a goddamn thing, Gary. Y'know why? Because you love the world and the world loves you back. It's something I don't have, something that hates me. The world rejected me, Gary. You're becoming like them, abandoning me out of nowhere, like when we were eight years old."  
Gary was about to respond for his defense, but Stan tripped over uncut grass. He fell onto his face, and the bottle slipped out of his hands, landing some ways ahead of him. "Stan?" The young man asked with concern.  
It took him a while before tan sighed and answered, "I'm alright. Just very pissed off right now." He rolled over onto his back and laid over the top of grass and flower buds.  
Without a smile, Gary stepped over and laid down next to Stan. "Again, I'm sorry I didn't see you today, but I promised you I won't leave. I stay true to my words, so-"  
He felt a hand slip into his own, and their fingers intertwined. "I love you," came a hushed voice. Gary felt his heart sting in his chest. He knew it couldn't be true.  
With a frown, he looked over at Stan. "You don't. At least, not in the way you think you do. It's the alcohol talking, so I can't believe your words."  
"Shut up, piece of shit. Shut up and look at the stars with me." Eye contact was avoided. It must have been true; those words were nothing but a drunk thought.  
"Why do you drink? Is there a specific reason?" Gary wanted to change the topic. It was a way to get the truth out, although it wouldn't be true until Stan would be sober again.  
"Gary, I said shut up. Let me hold your hand and look at the fucking stars. Look at them! They're better than the ones on my ceiling, aren't they?"  
Finally looking up, Gary observed the night sky and a full moon. It was a cloudless night full of shimmering stars. "Yeah... But that doesn't mean they're any better. Not another thing is better than the other; they're always equally the same."  
"They're not the same. My ceiling stars are fake, old, and they fade after 15 minutes. These stars are here forever, and yet no one gets sick of seeing them. They're pieces of shit to me, but even I can't look away." He sighed before continuing, "It's like alcohol. Some get you drunk faster, some can make you throw up right away, and some and make a night something you'll regret the next morning. They're all not the same."  
He was right, Gary could admit that much. Plastic stars couldn't be blamed for being fake. Again, he tried to ask the question. "So, why do you drink?"  
There was a short moment of silence between the two after his question. Gary glanced over to Stan, noticing his eyes were closed. He thought he had fallen asleep until the young man finally answered, "Because people made me believe-" he opened his eyes and stared up at the stars as he continued, "They told me that I was being brainwashed by society. They told me how people drink to numb their pain. When I tried it, I realized it was better than anything I've done to myself before. Then, I couldn't stop."  
Gary looked back up at the stars, taking in the bit of information. It made him wonder if Stan was still sober, pretending to have drunken himself stupid. His only word was, "Really?"  
"Yep. It was a bunch of bullshit to me at first, but I was sort of forced to drink. It was fun at first, but now, I don't care." Stan sighed again, "You're not going to take it away from me. In a few years, it won't be illegal for me anymore, so taking it away now would be a pointless effort."  
Gary knew Stan was right. Still, he wanted to try, "Do you know why we don't drink no matter how old we are?" He looked at him again, "When we die and get to the Gates, we want our bodies to be pure and clean without any toxins. I'm worried about you, Stan. I know it's not what you believe in, but-"  
"Shut up. I know you're worried, but stop it, okay? I'll be fine." Finally, Stan turned his head to the side and looked at him. He must have been very tired, Gary judged by the look in his eyes. Yet he asked, "Wanna go fuck up the town with me? Mess some shit up? Kenny would do it."  
"No, I'm pretty sure looking at the stars is a better option. That way, I know you're safe."  
"Again, that sounded gay."  
"Really? Because you're the one holding my hand right now. And you said-"  
"Shit!" Immediately, Stan sat up and leaned to the side away from Gary. He let go of their hands and proceeded to vomit. Gary sat up in concern, thinking the action was from the alcohol. He tried his best not to throw up as well as he stood up and stepped away.  
"Stan, do you want to head home?" Gary knew he would need to get back to his home soon, but he needed to take care of his friend before himself.  
"No, I'm alright. If I go home now, my parents are gonna think I got sick." He sounded irritated this time, most likely from embarrassment.  
"Well, I have to get home soon, but I want to make sure-"  
"Then leave. I'll be alright."  
It must have been a test. Was it right to think it was a test, Gary felt a little bad for thinking in such a way, but he couldn't think of what else it could have been. Perhaps it was a guilt-tripping tactic. In the end, Gary pushed the negatives away and looked past the issues. Stan was used to being left behind, thus he wanted to change that for him.  
"Let's get you home. We can take our time, okay? I'm sure you'll sober up by the time we get you home!"  
Stan turned to him, still sitting in the grass. "I'm covered in vomit." He was right, it covered part of his chin, dripping down his neck, and most of it was on his coat. "They're gonna know for sure that I got sick. If they see you're with me, they're gonna call your parents to tell them. Mom calls up all the other moms and embarrasses me about it."  
"Oh," Gary grimaced at the sight of his friend, thankful that it was dark enough outside so he wouldn't see everything in detail. Otherwise, he would have thrown up for sure. Sadly, the odor was not helping the situation. "I'll just walk you home now. Hopefully, your parents will be sleeping by the time we get there. Is that alright?"  
In reluctance, Stan agreed with Gary. He stood up, stumbled, and linked arms together. Gary could only hope his parents would forgive him from coming home very late.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW :: mentions of animal death.  
> Song mentioned was "I Guess I'm Not Dead Yet" by Fox Academy.

It was past ten at night, which was over curfew for the young man, but Gary was still walking Stan to his home. At one point, he began singing in half post-drunkenness and half sleepiness. The two walked in silence for a few minutes until Stan mentioned with a lazy voice, "There's a song I like."  
"Really? What's it about-"  
Before Gary could finish his question, his friend was already singing the lyrics. " _I'm laying down in a field by myself. Twelve-hundred flowers I threw at your house, but who cares?_ "  
Gary sighed quietly. At least Stan''s voice wasn't a loud one, but it wasn't pretty for sure. The young man continued his lyrics, " _Losing my friends, but were they really there? I don't care._ "  
"Stan, what song is this?" It was depressing, which Gary didn't like.  
" _I painted you sleeping, a knife in your hand, but who cares? _" He sighed and whispered "I don't care" before falling silent the rest of their way home.  
The night was chilly, making Gary wish he had worn his beanie. A shiver from him caught Stan's attention. "I would give you my coat, but it's covered in vomit. I didn't bring my gloves, either." He then grinned up at the sky in sleepiness, "Oh, my hat! Take it!"  
Out of generosity, Gary declined the offer. "No, I'll be alright. We're almost at your place, anyway." No further words were spoken until Stan laughed under his breath. The young man asked, "What's funny?"  
He shrugged and shook his head as he replied, "It's nothing, I'm just becoming aware that I'm sort of a piece of shit right now." He unlinked their arms to put his arm around Gary's shoulders. It was more comfortable than how Eric had done it the other day.  
"You shouldn't negatively view yourself, Stan."  
"I'm shit and I'm finally admitting it- to you, at least." He kept grinning as he stared ahead of them. "The others will never know."  
For someone, anyone, to have a low self-image, it put an ache in Gary's chest. He asked in a soft tone, "Why do you hate yourself?"  
As if he had planned this, Stan answered almost immediately, "I'm guilt-tripping you. I'm way too doubtful. I'm ignorant. I automatically assumed you abandoned me today."  
As much as Gary didn't want to agree with those words, they were good reasons to make one feel bad about themself. He tried to search for positives. "You acknowledge that you were guilt-tripping me, you're used to people walking out on you, and... And you're still letting me help you! Getting better again takes time, Stan. You can't feel better the next morning and then on."  
"You guys seem to think so." He was right. Again, Gary had to admit it. Remain positive, no matter the situation. Even he had questioned the code a few times before.  
"Give yourself time and be patient with me. We'll take this day-by-day."  
\---  
Stan led Gary into the house, being as stealthy as possible. His parents had to have been in bed by then, making Gary wonder how caring they really were to not wait up for him. Was it care or trust? What changed when someone's child graduates high school? All families were different, Gary knew, but he didn't know how distinctively different each was. Care could be in place of trust in contrast to two families.  
When they walked into the laundry room, Stan set his jacket in the washer. His other clothes were close by in the basket, needing to be cleaned as well. They looked as though they had been sitting for a month. Stan started throwing the rest of his clothes into the machine. He then said, "Are you going home." There was no emotion or tone to his question, making it hard for Gary to read what answer he wanted.  
"I have to. My parents are expecting me back. Jennifer is still visiting, too. I'm pretty sure they're worried." Gary didn't want to leave; he wanted to stay to make sure his friend remained safe. What would Stan do without him? Either sleep or drink himself numb. The thought worried him.  
"Well, do whatever. I'm still positive they hate me." Stan shrugged. "I don't care anymore. Too many people hate me anyway, so what's new?"  
A thought entered Gary's head and he instantly acted upon it. He pulled out his phone and sent a text to his sister. "My friend is going through an emotional crisis, so I have to stay with him tonight. Please let dad know." Gary looked at Stan and announced, "I'm staying here tonight."  
Without appearing surprised, Stan looked to him and said, "You'll need a change of clothes. I'll get you something, and I'll throw your clothes in the washer after you change." He led his friend up to his bedroom, switched on the lamp, handed him some clothes from his dresser, and stepped out of the room for the moment.  
As Gary was changing, he received a confirmation text from Jennifer. Their parents were a little disappointed in him, telling him not to worry them like that again. Yet, they were proud of him for helping a friend in need. It wasn't a lie; Stan was going through an emotional crisis. Gary was going to stay by his side no matter how long it would take.  
After he finished changing his clothes, he walked out and handed them to Stan. "I'll be right back, you can stay here."  
Stan walked down the stairs as Gary stepped into the bedroom again. He realized it would be his first time staying the night at a different house since leaving his home state. The thought should have made him happy, but he and Stan were no longer kids. He worried that if word got out, the others might automatically assume they "slept" together. There was always a rumor like that throughout the 4 years of high school. Gary was lucky enough to never be involved.  
Finally, after a few long minutes, Stan came back into the room. He closed the door behind him and turned to Gary. "Are you okay with sleeping on the floor?" Gary nodded, but Stan's expression went flat. "Bullshit. You're laying next to me so I don't have to feel guilty about it. I mean, I treated my dog better than that."  
Gary was reluctant to lay down next to his friend. He was honest, he wouldn't mind sleeping on the floor even though it would hurt his back, but he didn't want Stan to feel guilty.  
The light was switched off, the stars glowed on the ceiling, and the two laid next to each other under one blanket on one bed. Gary took the outside while Stan stayed by the wall. Despite his awkwardness, the bed was comfortable to him.  
It took a while before Stan spoke up, "Are you tired?"  
"To be honest, I'm not."  
"Yeah, normally I would be passed out by now."  
They both laid on their backs, staring up at the same ceiling covered in stars. Gary had a question, so he asked, "How long have you had these stars?"  
As if not wanting to answer, Stan hesitated for a moment. It must have been a topic too personal to talk about. Finally, he gave a reply, "This room used to be the nursery when I was a baby. Mom suggested stars, and dad immediately got to it. Well, according to mom, she had to finish putting up the stars because dad lost interest halfway through the first hour."  
Gary laughed a little at the fact, "Really? My parents would have finished it together in no time!"  
"Good to know your parents are better than mine," Stan responded with a bit of sarcastic, but then he frowned again. "I wanted to take them down when I turned eight, but my dog passed away, so I couldn't get around to it."  
There was a stab in Gary's heart. eight years old was a bad age to lose a dog, but it was also the age he tried to befriend Stan. He wondered if they met before or after the dog's death.  
"His name was Sparky and I loved him so much. No other animal in the world would change that; no fish, no bunny, no cat." Stan turned his head to look at Gary. "I still have his pink handkerchief, it's in the drawer of the stand next to the bed, but I don't want to see it right now."  
Gary nodded to express his sympathetic understanding.  
Stan looked up at the stars again. "When I turned thirteen, I tried to take them down again. My grandpa passed. I was heartbroken and couldn't get myself out of bed for a long time, so the stars stayed up there."  
That must have been what had happened. Around that age, Gary had noticed a lack of Stan attending school. He never made a negative assumption about it, but he also never tried to pry any further.  
"Then, at fifteen, I had my first real break up; the official heart-breaker of my life. It really hurt me, almost made me lose my friends. By seventeen, I gave up. I fell into emptiness." He sighed and rolled over to face Gary. "And then, last year, I started drinking. I was in a therapy group, but they weren't reliable and tried to make me believe I was being mind-controlled. They even took all my money I was saving for college.  
"My friends gave up. Shelley moved out, which made me happy, but then I got bored after a while. My parents fought each other a lot more and almost divorced. Graduation came around. All I did was receive my diploma and walked away. I never celebrated, and I only went to parties just to drink and tear up the town with Kenny and Craig. Eric's in college, surprisingly, and Kyle is going away soon. We were lucky to hang out yesterday, but it turned to shit. I was about to give up for good until you walked in."  
Gary closed his eyes and felt tears well up. Giving up for good- He must have been God-sent, an angel, or perhaps good-timing. He couldn't say anything, and he hoped Stan didn't notice his current emotional state.  
But he did.  
"Dude, why are you crying?" There was a change in his voice, the softness disappearing so suddenly.  
"I- I don't know?" Gary sniffed, "So much happened to you, yet you're still standing. You haven't given up completely," he sniffled again and looked at him, "and it sounds like you finally opened up about it." He wiped away his tears as he apologized, "I'm sorry, I just get grossly emotional when it comes to sad stories."  
"Yeah, uh- I don't know how to comfort or reassure someone." Stan propped himself up on his elbows. "I'll be okay. It's just, it's too much shit to take in all at once, especially for someone like you."  
Gary let a quiet cry escape, "That doesn't help me feel better! You've been through so much, and it almost made you lose the light! Stand, don't you see? There's a God watching over you!" He rolled onto his side towards Stan and buried his face in a pillow. He left out a muffled sob as emotions overtook him.  
"Hey."  
Gary felt Stan lean down to put his arm around him.  
Stan's voice was soft this time, despite his apparent awkwardness. "We believe in different things. I'm not sure who's right, but I don't think you should say that there's some higher force keeping me alive."  
The quiet sobs went away, but Gary didn't look up. He sniffled into the pillow and shook his head.  
Sighing, Stan tried again. "Okay. I guess I was stubborn and refused help. I wanted everyone to know that this world is shit, but I guess that's just how I saw it." There was a pause before Stan spoke again, "Fuck this, I can't do it."__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been seeing positive comments, y'all make me smile!! Thank you :D I really needed that after this past weekend.


	7. Chapter 7

"Fuck this, I can't do it."  
Gary felt Stan crawl over him and off of the bed.  
"You think whatever god exists would just save me like that?" He tried to keep his voice a whisper, reminding Gary of the sleeping parents in the other room.  
Stan stepped away to the other end of the room as he claimed, "I'm telling you, it's everyone's fault for refusing to help me! You're no better, always ignoring the negative!" Gary lifted his head to look for where Stan stepped off to. A dim lamp had been switched on.  
"On top of that, you're probably pissing because you left me around the time of Sparky's death, or because you didn't stop to check on me when I didn't attend school because of my grandfather passing, or because I broke up with Wendy and everything fell into pieces of fucking glass." He looked at Gary with a stern expression, although his eyes showed a guilty plea. He said, "Stop crying."  
"I'm sorry," Gary said through the knot in his throat, "I didn't mean to overreact, I just didn't-"  
"Dammit, it's only been a day and a night. It's been years since we last spoke. Get your shit together, Stan." He was whispering harshly to himself, leaving Gary confused. The young man walked over to a desk chair and plopped himself down.  
After a few seconds of guilt-filled silence, Gary laid down on his side. He didn't know what else to say; he could only hope the awkwardness would disappear the next morning. After a few more quiet minutes, he thought Stan had fallen asleep in the chair. He closed his eyes and began to drift away. Then, a soothing voice carried him along.  
"Earth Angel, will you be mine? My darling, love you all the time. I'm just a fool in love with..."  
He recognized those lyrics. He sang it in his head, absentmindedly humming along as a soft smile displayed on his face.  
"Earth angel, the one I adore. I love you forever and evermore. I'm just a fool in love with..."  
\---   
Please, be mine...  
Gary stretched as he opened his sleepy eyes. Memories from the night before immediately reminded the young man of where he was. He sat up and looked to where Stan had ended up falling asleep- in the desk chair. Such an uncomfortable place to sleep, Gary thought. It had him wondering why Stan couldn't crawl in bed beside him again. Perhaps he had fallen asleep without another ounce of awareness.  
The clock on the desk read half-past nine in the morning, which was a good thing for Gary. Sleeping in would cause daytime drowsiness, which would lead to negative emotions and poor choices. He didn't know about Stan, about what time he would usually awaken.  
Cautiously, Gary reached over and set his hand on the arm of the chair. "Stan?" He lightly shook the chair, waking the other with a startle. "Good morning, Stan!"  
Stan was quiet as he frowned. He rested back in his chair for a moment, then unsteadily stood up. "Move," was all he could mumble. Gary got out of bed and right away, Stan took his place, settling under the warm blanket.  
The young man frowned as he placed his hands on his hips in protest. "Stan, it's almost ten in the morning!"  
His voice was muffled under the blanket, "I have a headache from sleeping in that chair all night. Let me sleep. Go make yourself breakfast."  
As much as he wanted Stan to wake up, Gary had to agree with him. With a sigh, he left the room with reluctance. He slowly tiptoed down the stairs, trying to think of a positive possible situation in case he would meet the Marsh couple.  
Gary stepped into the living room to see no one. The television was on, but no adult was on the couch. Then he made his way through the empty dining room and finally entered the kitchen.  
In awkwardness, he waited for Stan's mother to look up from where she stood. She was cutting up strawberries and throwing them into a bowl, perhaps for the night's dessert. "Good morning, Stan. Did you have a nice night, sweetie?"  
Gary felt himself become more anxious. He responded, "Actually, he's still sleeping."  
Mrs. Marsh looked at him and smiled, "Oh, I didn't know he had a friend over!" Her smile disappeared as she looked him up and down. "You're... wearing his clothes?"  
"Yeah! I didn't bring any of mine with me because he uh, well, we ran into each other last night on a walk!" He tried reverting away from the complete truth as he tried his best not to tell a lie.  
"Oh? And he decided to let you stay over?"  
"Yes! He says he has a headache, so he wanted me to let him sleep more. He also told me to make myself breakfast, if that's alright." He gave a polite smile.  
"That's... That's alright, but I'll make you both some pancakes and coffee. Please try to get him out of bed for me." She looked away as she had said that. Her smile didn't return, but she also wasn't frowning.  
Gary wondered if she wasn't okay with unexpected guests. He also realized what she had offered. "No thanks about the coffee, I don't drink that." He then smiled, "I'll go try to wake him!" He walked out, passing by Mr. Marsh, unaware of the confused expression he was receiving from him.  
Back through the dining room and living room, back up the stairs, and finally at the door. Gary knocked before entering. He slowly opened it, "Stan, I was told to wake you up! And your mother said she'll make some pancakes for us!"  
Silence followed after Gary's voice. His friend remained in the bed under the blanket. Being gentle, Gary stepped into the room and towards Stan. "Hey, it's not healthy to sleep in. It's time to wake up now!"  
As soon as the young man stood over the bed, Stan reached out of the blanket and pulled Gary's arm. He couldn't react fast enough as Stan dragged him down and moved over him.  
"Stan-" Arm wrapped around Gary, and he knew what his friend wanted: comfort. It must have been the only way he would express such a need. Displaying it outwardly or around other people would have probably embarrassed him, at least Gary thought. He returned the hug and smiled warmly.  
"You know," he spoke in a calm voice, "we can't stay like this for long. Your mother is making breakfast for us. It's important to eat breakfast. I'm sure you'll feel better after that. Then, we can do whatever you want today! I'll still be here."  
However, he was unaware of Stan's true intentions. It was obvious he wanted comfort, but what he actually wanted was Gary's love in return; requited feelings. He couldn't hug him for long, that he knew, but he was glad to seize such an opportunity.  
The thought put an ache in Stan's chest.  
\---  
After the pancakes were finished and breakfast was over with, Stan handed Gary his clothes from yesterday from the laundry room. His mom must have switched their clothes from the washer to the dryer earlier that morning, as he remembered leaving them in only one machine. After they finished getting ready for the day, the two sat in silence together in Stan's bedroom.  
Gary looked around the room at the clothes, papers, and wrappers that had been littered about. He thought for a moment, then stood up from the desk chair and walked over to the bed. Stan watched him open the curtains before proceeding to open the ones on the window at the other side of the room. Then he turned to his friend and asked, "Do you have a screen or anything to hold open the windows?"  
"I don't want them open. Letting the light in is enough."  
"But Stan, your room smells like garbage and body odor with a hint of alcohol," Gary replied in a flat voice.  
"Fine," Stan gave in, rolling his eyes. "The windows stick open, so you don't need a screen or anything." He glanced around at the floor, paused for a second, then closed his eyes. "I take it you want to clean my room." He opened his eyes and looked at Gary, seeing a grin on his face.  
Stan began picking up around the floor as Gary picked up around the dresser. The young man stopped at the empty fishbowl and stared at it before asking, "What happened here?"  
"Where? Oh. I dunno, I woke one evening and it was gone, like all those other times. One fish would die, mom would flush it away, then dad would get me a new one."  
Gary turned to look at Stan, prompting more answers.  
"I guess it was to teach me responsibility or something." He shrugged and continued picking up clothes as he revealed, "I don't want to think about it. Too many fish have died because I wasn't a good parent. That's why I don't have another dog or a cat."  
"Oh," Gary responded in a guilty tone. It was upsetting for him to think about death resulting from negligence, but it wasn't Stan's fault. The thoughts were pushed away and he carried on with the cleaning.  
It didn't take too long for both of them to finish. In the end, Gary sat on the bed and smiled at the clean floor, organized dresser, spacious desk, and an empty trash can. He knew the cleanliness wouldn't last long, but it was good micro-exercise for the most part. Something as small as cleaning a room could help impact one's mood, at least Gary hoped.  
Stan sat down next to him on the bed and sighed out. Gary asked him, expecting a positive answer, "What are you feeling after this?"  
"Like shit." The young man laid down on his back and put his arms over his face. The answer was the opposite of what Gary wanted to hear, but he did not allow it to bother him.  
"How come?"  
"I don't know, I can't help it. I just feel like shit. It's going on day three, and I'm not feeling any better. You'll need to try harder."  
Laying on his back as well, Gary sighed and replied, "Feeling better takes time. Yesterday was my fault, but today is a new day to start again!"  
Stan put his arms behind his head and frowned. "Yeah, I know." There was a pause for a moment before he switched topics, "You fell asleep while I was trying to sing to you."  
"Really?" Gary turned his head to look at Stan. "I didn't notice! Was it an original song? I know you write poetry, do you write lyrics too?"  
Stan sighed as if Gary had missed the point. "Aren't you curious about what I was singing? You were humming along for a bit, you know."  
"I was?" Gary smiled with guilt, "I don't remember."  
"Earth Angel, will you be mine? My darling dear, I'm just a fool in love with you."  
"I know that song! It's my favorite!"  
Once again, Stan sighed out. He turned on his side and tried again, "I'm being serious, Gary. I'm trying to tell you something."  
Slowly, Gary's smile faded as it clicked in his head. His eyes widened and he stood up quickly. "No, you don't!" He turned to Stan, who was now sitting up with surprise on his face. "I'm sorry, but you're not really in love with me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song credit :: "Earth Angel" by The Penguins (good old love song imo)


	8. Chapter 8

"What..." It wasn't a question, but more of disbelief. Stan stood from his bed and stepped closer to Gary as he asked, "What do you mean by that? I'm pretty sure as hell I know what my feelings are."  
Gary shook his head in protest, "No, Stan. You don't love me like that because we- Don't come any closer!" He held out his hands to prevent his friend from taking a step forward. "Let me explain first!"  
"This is ridiculous," Stan grabbed Gary's hands, "Listen, if you don't return the feelings, then that's fine. We can move on while I look like an utter mistake to you."  
Still protesting, the young man shook his head and pulled away. He explained in a firm tone, "It's not that, Stan. It's that we're finally becoming friends again, putting the past and awkwardness behind us. I've been helping you for about three days now, and since it appears that I'm the only one focusing on you, your feelings are making you believe you're in love with me."  
"Nice theory, but you're wrong." He stepped closer and tried to put his arms around Gary. "Now, let me explain."  
"Okay, you can! But please, don't touch me!" Gary stepped to the side to avoid Stan's arms.  
"Alright," Stan leaned against his dresser and crossed his arms before he continued, "When we first met, they told me to go beat you up for some godforsaken reason, but I went back to my friends within five minutes with a dinner invitation to meet your parents. That's when the teasing began."  
"Okay, so-"  
"Let me finish. I went to your house, met your entire family, and I later went home with envy because you all loved each other and were passionate about whatever hobbies you all were into. What do I come home to every night? A dad getting drunk on a couch, a mom doing whatever she does, and a sister who beats me up when no one's watching."  
"Your dad came over to talk to my parents, I remember because I overheard them from the kitchen."  
"Yeah, well he wanted to beat up your dad, but he came home to say that he invited you all to my place for dinner the next night. I was realizing that you guys weren't so bad, I mean, you all are great at avoiding fights."  
"We're pacifists, after all," Gary smiled for a second before frowning again. "So, what does this explain?"  
"I'm trying to say that even if my friends hated you at the time, I would have tried to be your friend. The problem was that my dad got in the way, my stubbornness and interrogating questions got in the way, my friends became jealous because they thought you were taking me away from them, and then the constant teasing of how "in love" we were made me give up. I became frustrated and was going to tell you to stop hanging out with me, but that same day you were the one who told me off first. You walked away."  
Gary tilted his head, trying to pinpoint where in the explanation revealed why Stan liked him.  
The other sighed, "If we stayed as friends, we would have made it work. I would have tolerated your wacky beliefs if you would have tolerated my questions. Maybe I wouldn't have felt alone in middle school. Maybe I would have realized my feelings for you in high school rather than yesterday."  
"Stan..."  
He looked up at Gary. "You're literally an angel on Earth. I'm scared to let you go again, but if you don't return those feelings then I hope we can stay as friends. If we can't stay as friends, then you're just like everyone else."  
There was a moment of silence before Gary looked away. He tried to blink away tears, finally realizing why his attention had always been attracted to Stan all these years. He hadn't meant to walk away for good, but it had been intended to give the boy some space to think about having respect towards other people. He felt responsible for starting Stan's depression.  
"You have to help me feel better, anyway." Stan continued looking at him. "You said you would, so make the effort in staying."  
Gary returned the eye contact. "What about your friends? Won't they be mad at you for being with me?"  
"They'll get over it, otherwise their pissy attitudes are gonna cost them two more friendships. I'm not gonna hang out with them if all they're gonna do is hate me, let alone hate you too."  
"But friends are more important than lovers!"  
"And family is more important than friends, but do you see me close to my parents? No. You're sure as hell close to yours, which is something I want. Gary, I have no one right now."  
Gary looked away and tried to think of more reasons to protest, but couldn't. "I'll think about it."  
"Dude, just give me an answer."  
He knew Stan guilt-trips people, but this wasn't the same. He was being genuine this time, which made Gary feel something. He didn't know what the feelings were. "Well..." He looked at Stan again, "Maybe we can date? Like holding hands and acting close, but no kissing."  
"Okay," Stan shrugged.  
Gary smiled, "And you need to get along with my family again!"  
"Great," Stan sounded sarcastic. "I guess it's for the best."  
The door opened without a knock, and Mrs. Marsh stepped in. "Stan, you need to-" She looked around at the floor. "Oh, you already got to it."  
"Yeah, Gary helped me clean."  
She looked at Gary and received a polite smile. "Gary? I thought you were Kenny!"  
It was always a mistake. In comparison, they both had light skin, blue eyes, and blonde hair. The only difference was how Kenny always had cuts and bruises, messier hair, and he was tall and thin. They both cared about people, but Kenny was more of a party animal and had no care where his soul would end up after his death.  
Mrs. Marsh spoke again, "Gary? Do you mean the Harrisons' son? It's nice to see you again! I'm glad you two are getting along!" She looked at her son, "I'm proud of you, Stan. I'll leave you two alone now." She walked away with a smile on her face, not bothering to close the door.  
After knowing she had left down the stairs, Stan turned to Gary. "Wanna take a walk together?"  
Gary smiled, "Sure! Maybe we'll bump into your friends!"  
If that were to happen, then it would turn into an awkward day for both of them. Stan didn't want to explain that they were dating, and he also didn't want to face the awkward tension between them. He would have to bear it anyway.

\---

Of all the people in town, they ran into Kenny. Stan had thought that the pond would be the perfect place to be alone with Gary, but it must have been the perfect place for couples as he noticed a few others standing around. Besides that, Kenny happened to be there by himself.  
"How 'bout a dance?" Kenny leaned against a sign with the letters "Stark's Pond" painted on it. They had been talking about things to do on dates.  
Gary smiled shyly, "No, I can't dance." He sat with perfect posture on a wooden bench.  
"I can't either," Stan agreed. He sat cross-legged on the ground in front of the bench.  
Kenny frowned, "Just go dance! It ain't gonna kill ya!" He folded his arms behind his head. "Alright, then how 'bout a movie together?"  
Gary shrugged, "I can't watch certain movies."  
Stan rolled his eyes, "The only movies they have now are ones that contain animal deaths."  
"No they don't!" Kenny responded to Stan, "Behind the scenes, I heard the animal fakes its death! Ain't that neat? Plays dead for dramatic effect!"  
"Yeah, I know that. It doesn't change the fact that I'm still gonna see an animal death and it's owners crying over its body. I can't handle shit like that."  
Gary nodded, "Yeah, that can get really depressing, but at least there's a Heaven for dogs!"  
Kenny gave a challenging look, "Do they? Really? Are you sure?" After receiving a look from Stan, Kenny grinned and changed his tone, "Just messin' with ya!"  
That didn't reassure Gary, but he let it go.  
Sighing, Kenny frowned again and tried to think. "Hmmm... No movies with violence, porn, or strong language... No dancing for some odd reason... No drunk fun or sex..."  
Stan leaned forward and put his face in his hands. Kenny was no help; he would only find ways to humiliate him or possibly discourage Gary. He mentioned, "If you see the others, please don't tell them about us."  
"Hm?"  
Stan looked up at his friend with narrowed eyes, "Promise you won't tell anyone."  
Jumping in, Gary knew he had to clarify, "We're not on good terms for some reason. Also, if word gets out, I'm not sure how my family will react."  
Kenny looked at Gary, back to Stan, back to Gary for a second with a thoughtful look on his face, then he smiled and looked at Stan again. "Secret's safe with me! I mean, you two are just dating right now! Y'all haven't decided if a relationship is for you both yet!"  
Stan sighed in hopelessness and leaned forward.  
"By the way," Kenny looked at Gary, "why can't you dance? Dunno how?" He grinned and stood up, "I can teach ya!"  
Gary shook his head with a guilty smile and replied, "I know how to dance, but I don't dance with people I just met."  
"But you've met me before."  
"I met you informally almost 10 years ago. We never spoke."  
Kenny frowned and shrugged as he sat down on the dirt. "We grew up with the same thing, so you don't need to keep quiet about it."  
Not understanding what he meant, Gary tilted his head. "What do you mean?"  
"Leaving room between you and your partner isn't for the Holy Spirit. It's for crotch-distancing."  
Right away Gary's face turned pink. He didn't know what to say, so he stayed quiet and looked away from the other blonde. Despite the awkwardness, Stan laughed a bit at the joke. He didn't exactly grasp what the two were talking about. He didn't care to know.  
Time passed slowly and conversations switch topics quickly until a phone went off. As he pulled out his phone, Stan frowned and mumbled under his breath, "Why can't people text instead of call?" Looking at the contact on the screen, he paused for a second before saying, "It's Kyle. I'll be right back." He walked off out of earshot.  
Gary looked towards him, then he looked back at Kenny and smiled as if to lessen the awkwardness. He didn't receive a friendly look in return.  
Kenny leaned forward and spoke in a low voice, "Don't date him."


	9. Chapter 9

Gary raised an eyebrow as he leaned forward. "Don't date him?" he repeated after Kenny as a question.  
The other blonde leaned back with a relaxed expression and nodded, "Yep! You heard me right; don't date him!"  
After a couple of seconds in confused silence, Gary spoke up again. "Why? Do you like him?"  
"Nope! Not in that way, at least." He looked to where Stan stood off from them with his phone, then back at Gary. "You got everything he wants. He doesn't want you, he wants what you have."  
Gary relaxed his expression as he took in the information.  
"He's unreliable. He had a bad time with Wendy. He's losing his friends because they have what he wants."  
"What does he want?" Gary tried to challenge him.  
Kenny only shrugged, "I dunno, but I know there's somethin'. I mean, look at him!" Both looked back to the raven-haired young man. Stan looked at them, receiving a smile and a wave from Kenny, but he frowned in return and turned to face away from them. "Poor soul, huh? Not a smile, not even a fake one. Always arguin' with our friends, not makin' things right."  
Gary looked at Kenny again, "I don't think he's using me for anything. Besides, I promised him I would help him stop drinking."  
"Oh, of course." Kenny smiled in disbelief, "That won't happen. He won't quit."  
As much as he didn't want to admit it, Gary knew Kenny was probably right. Stan wouldn't quit, and he certainly wanted everything better even though he wouldn't change anything for himself. He only wanted things handed to him.  
Sighing, Gary spoke quickly before Stan walked back to them, "I promise I'll keep your friend safe."  
Kenny stretched and yawned as he stood up. He put his hands in his pockets and said, "If y'all wanna have lunch, let's go. I don't have money, so someone's gotta pay for me."  
Stan sighed as he rolled his eyes in reply, "Sure, whatever."  
\---  
Time passed by as the three ate lunch together. They couldn't agree on a place to eat, so they bought snacks from a grocery store instead. Kenny had beef jerky and a Dr. Pepper, Stan settled on plain potato chips and a Pepsi, and Gary was happy with an apple and a Sprite. They sat on a bench outside the store; Stan in the middle, Gary to his right and Kenny to his left.  
Stan stared at Gary for a moment before gaining his attention.  
"Is there something wrong, Stan?"  
His expression was flat. "You can't drink coffee, right?"  
"Right."  
"But you can drink soda...?"  
Kenny looked back and forth at the two, quietly curious about the context.  
Gary smiled, "Yeah, I like soda!"  
Stan began to challenge him. He narrowed his eyes, "Coffee and soda both have caffeine in them. Why are you guys allowed to have one and not the other?"  
After trying to think for a second, Gary shrugged his shoulders with a smile and continued eating his apple. Stan and Kenny looked at each other in confusion for a quick moment before looking back at Gary.  
"Dude." Stan caught his attention again, but Gary interrupted immediately.  
"Some of us like soda. Some of us drink coffee or alcohol. You can't make these judgments, and you certainly can't question them." He went back to drinking his soda.  
With a look that said "he dragged you again," Kenny grinned over at Stan before he continued with his snack. Stan looked away, feeling a bit upset from being dragged in front of his friend in public. It wasn't the first time it had happened. Reluctantly, Stan looked past the current situation and continued eating his chips.  
Kenny asked, "What did Kyle want? Looked like you were fighting him over the phone."  
Stan shook his head, "Beats me. He wanted to hang out again, but I told him I was with you and Gary."  
"But he could have tagged along! He'll be going away to college soon, so I wanna hang out with him."  
"Guess who's with him. I don't want him hanging around Gary."  
Gary looked over at him and asked, "Why not? Eric seems pretty cool!"  
With a deadpan stare, Stan replied, "You don't remember? You dragged his ass and now he hates you. When he hates someone, he plots against them and waits for the perfect moment."  
Kenny chimed in, "I wonder why he's been with Kyle lately? Kyle hates him too much. I'm pretty sure everyone hates him. I love-hate him."  
"Well," Gary responded to them, "I don't hate him. I don't have hate for anyone, for that matter! If he wants to beat me up, I'll let him."  
Ginning, Kenny turned to Stan and brought up a memory. "Kinda reminds me of how Wendy beat him up. Pretty sure your lil' boyfriend here could do the same."  
Stan and Gary both replied at the same time.  
"He's a pacifist."  
"I'm a pacifist."  
Kenny looked at Gary for a moment, then back at Stan, and whispered, "He's fucked."  
Stan flattened his expression as he claimed, "He can talk anyone out of a fight. Remember?"  
"Yeah, he'll talk Eric into having dinner with him."  
Gary laughed, but Stan rolled his eyes.  
Lunchtime carried on and time passed by with small conversations before they decided to walk back towards Kenny's house. Gary walked between the other two.  
Kenny looked at him and asked, "You guys aren't holding hands?"  
Stan rolled his eyes, "We're going slow, Kenny."  
Gary smiled shyly, "I would like to hold hands, but I'm afraid of being seen by a family member or one of my parent's friends." His words caught Stan's attention. That was all; fear. If his love interest had no fear, they would have been holding hands at that very moment.  
"Really?" Kenny looked at Gary, "You're not out to them?"  
Shrugging his shoulders, Gary exchanged eye contact. "This is new to me. I'm afraid of what their reaction would be."  
Kenny nodded, understanding where the other was coming from. "My parents disapproved of me partying and drinking and making out with others, no matter if they're a guy or girl, but they lightened up after I made a point of them doing drugs." He smiled, "Besides, at least I don't neglect Karen's needs. She's more important than parties and college."  
Stan joined in, "Yeah, Kenny's a party animal, but he cares for his sister. I wish Shelly cared for me."  
Nudging Gary, Kenny whispered but made sure Stan could hear him, "Now's a good time to hold his hand. It's usually in comfort, y'know?"  
"Don't listen to him." Stan avoided looking at both of them, but he noticed how Gary put his hands in his pockets. Despite the disappointing action, there was a smile on his face.  
\---  
They kept walking until they reached Kenny's house. After he disappeared into his home, Gary decided it was time for him to head home. "My dad messaged to ask where I've been all day," he informed Stan as the two strolled along the sidewalk together.  
"Did you tell him you were hanging out with us?"  
"Just you." Hanging out with any of the McCormicks' would have caused five minutes of questioning- Unless the kid was Karen. Anyone else in the family made the Harrisons' feel apprehensive.  
Receiving the next message caused Gary's color to drain from his face. With a glance towards Stan, the young man gave it a thought before he asked, "Dad wants to know if you'd like to have dinner with us."  
"No," Stan answered without giving himself time to think.  
"Why not?" Gary sounded almost desperate despite his contrasting anxiety. On one hand, he dreaded his parents finding out about their relationship. On the other, he wanted Stan to get along with them. "Please, this could help us!"  
The two stopped walking to give each other enough breath to speak. Stan asked, "Us as in you and me, or us as in you and them?"  
"Both."  
"Both as in-"  
"Please have dinner with us!" Gary spoke as a slight blush came across his face. "  
Stan paused for a few seconds, looking into Gary's hopeful eyes. Teasing was fun; he wanted to see how far he could stall his answer. The young man informed, "My hair is greasy."  
"We can head back to your place so you can wash it."  
"My breath might reek with alcohol."  
"Brush your teeth while you're getting ready." Finally, Stan started to smile. It was enough to put a frown on Gary's face, "Stop stalling!"  
"Patience," Stan said as if he was an Elder in a church, "weren't you taught that?"  
With a sigh, Gary calmed his anxiety and composed himself. He then looked at Stan and said, "Would you like to have dinner with us?"  
As he took a step forward, Stan showed a smile as he answered, "Alright, I guess."  
The two made their way in awkward silence to Stan's house. While he showered, Gary sat alone on the other side of the bathroom door. Anxiety was not easing off of his mind, but he remembered how staying positive was the better thing to do. When things happen, he always believed it was God's will. A realization then struck him: if his parents were approving of their choice to date, it must be His will. If his dates with Stan progressed into a committed relationship, it must be His will. When would it not be His will? Where does his God's will end, and where does it begin?  
Thinking about it filled the young man with hope. What he saw in Stan was someone emotional, caring, and loyal. Losing him would hurt, and although Gary was taught to face emotional pain head-on, he did not want to think about the pain of losing Stan.  
While he showered, Stan confronted his anxieties about meeting Gary's family again. Jennifer was visiting, he remembered, but was she still there? What about Mark? They would be either two less or two more people he would have to face and get along with. Gaining their approval would mean nothing to him if it wasn't Gary he was dating. Otherwise, he would ignore their words and stick to his side.  
Because of their religion, he knew Gary's family was everything to him. His choices depended on their words. No approval would lead to Gary's final decision to end the dating. Being friends would kill Stan.  
After finishing with his shower, Stan sent a text to his mom telling her where he was going for dinner. Gary allowed him to drink a bottle of water before brushing his teeth. He saw it as a way to thwart the need for alcohol, not a way of stalling.  
When they were ready to head out, Stan stopped at the front door and looked at Gary. "I don't want to go," he said.  
Gary smiled in a sweet way as he comforted, "I'll be with you." The two stepped out of the house and made their way along the sidewalk. "By the way," Gary remembered a message he had received while waiting for Stan a moment before, "Mark is visiting us. He said there's something he wants to tell all of us. Well, probably not you, but to the family."  
"Great; I get to face the whole family," Stan said with a lack of enthusiasm.


	10. Chapter 10

The tension was felt between the two while they walked together in silence. It was not completely quiet; there would be occasional mentions of what each family member had accomplished within the past ten years.  
Mark was serving his mission, Jennifer was attending a University, David was already a high-grade student, Amanda won a writing contest, their mother worked as a business assistant, and their father had been working to rebuild religious communities within many towns.  
"He's a conservative when it comes to religion, right?" Stan asked in a cautious voice.  
Gary shrugged, "I don't know. Dad only talks about two things with his job: his excitement for how many members the church received in the first week of opening, or his hope that the church gains more than the few members. It's usually one or the other with each church."  
"Sounds like a cult-"  
"Don't start with that," Gary warned. "It's a way of preserving tradition. Sometimes, it's a way of bringing a new light of hope to others."  
The two arrived at Gary's parent's home. Four cars were in the driveway. There would have been five if Gary had learned how to drive, or six if Stan had decided to move past his learner's permit. Besides, they knew it as best to walk around the town since there were no other destinations in mind.  
Gary opened the front door, gaining the attention of his family. As usual, they greeted their Gary with a warm welcome. They also greeted Stan the same way, as if they had held no grudge or embarrassment for the past ten years.  
Stan smiled through his anxiety as he said, "Hello." Gary hoped none of them would notice his anxiety around them.  
Mark ran over and gave his little brother a tight hug as he said, "I missed you so much! How've you been?"  
Gladly returning the hug, Gary replied with a smile, "I've been great! I've been helping to take care of Amanda and David!" He backed up from the hug, "I haven't found a job yet, though."  
"Someone's bound to hire you right away! They'd blind to turn away a good person like you." He turned to Gary's friend and said, "It's great to see you again, Stan!"  
One thing Stan noticed was how no one greeted Stan with a hug. They must have learned boundaries in that town, he thought to himself.  
Dinner time came around, in which everyone had to take turns washing their hands. There were two bathrooms and one kitchen where they washed their hands. Gary took advantage of the moment to speak with Stan while they stood in the upstairs bathroom alone.  
"Are you feeling better?"  
"Better as in?" Stan stood behind Gary as the blonde took his time washing his hands.  
"Less anxious." He looked in the mirror to see Stan nod as a non-verbal answer. He turned around and smiled as he dried off his hands with a towel. "Good! I'm still a little anxious."  
"Would a kiss make you feel better?"  
"I'm not joking!"  
"You think I am?" Stan leaned forward and repeated, "Would a kiss make you feel better?"  
Kissing, Gary had kissed before, but only for musicals and plays. No feelings were involved, and whoever's girlfriend he was required to kiss was always approving of him. But kissing Stan would bother him more, knowing that a family member could step into the bathroom at any time to find them.  
"We didn't even have dinner with them yet," Gary declined. His real reason was the possible disapproval of his family.  
Kissing Stan at that moment, only to gain disapproval, would be a loss to him. It would be a waste. He did not want to find out how good of a kisser Stan was.  
"That's too bad," Stan said in a flat tone before he turned to leave the bathroom.  
However, before he could leave, Gary reached to grab his wrist as if on reflex. The young man turned back to face him, seeing a certain light of curiosity in his eyes. No one was around. Gary heard no one calling for them. He thought perhaps it was meant to be. His eyes spoke to Stan, permitting him to ease the wonder.  
Though, as Stan leaned forward, his date escaped into the hallway. Gary looked at him with an expression of uncertainty. He tried to hide it with a smile as he said, "They might be waiting for us. Let's go." Still, his hand was holding Stan's wrist. He was pulled into the hallway and led through the narrow walls.  
Along the way, his wrist was freed. It was a devastating thing to feel for Stan. The sight of Gary leading the front made it look as though he was getting away from him. The thought caught his breath and raised his anxiety. Stan didn't want to lose him.  
They stepped down the stairs and reached a mirror, where Gary stopped to fix his hair. He needed to compose himself, distract himself from the moment he had turned down. He was too afraid to look at Stan. Only the warmth of the young man's hand on his back reassured him that everything was going to be alright. He knew no matter what outcome, they would still have each other. After calming his nerves, Gary led Stan into the dining room.  
At the table, Mr. Harrison sat at one end while Mrs. Harrison sat at the other end, Amanda was to her mother's left with David between her and Mark, Jennifer to her mother's right, and Stan between her and Gary. The table was crowded, almost unbearable, almost claustrophobic, almost as if they could read each other's minds if they listened hard enough.  
However, Stan noticed how happy the family was together. They were used to it, therefore it never bothered them how shoulder-to-shoulder they met. Although it was compacted, there was a cozy air around the warm people.  
Stan waited patiently as the family held hands and prayed with their eyes closed and heads low. It was something he wasn't used to, besides on the Holidays. After the prayer of thanks was closed, they began eating their dinner and talking about their day.  
Oldies classic was quietly playing on the radio by the kitchen door. It was Earth Angel, as if the timing was meant for the two to announce to the family their choice in each other.  
Gary looked to Stan, only to notice him glancing around in observation as he ate. The young man was probably thinking about how his family never had a friendly dinner conversation like his. He never had dinner with Stan's parents, therefore, he wouldn't know. The Marsh family must be a different type of family after all.  
Letting him glance around, Gary continued eating his dinner. He tuned in to a conversation between Jennifer and their mother. They spoke about how college has been with her job and her roommates at her apartment. Amanda was joining them in their exchanges, stating how she can't wait for her turn to get into college. David kept quiet, as he always does. Gary was about to ask his little brother about how the school has been for him, but their father caught his attention.  
"Gary, you've been quiet today. Is there something bothering you?"  
"No- Well, not really," Gary tried to reply with a smile, attempting to move around the truth while avoiding a lie.  
Stan glanced at the two, hearing them talk. He noticed Mark watching as well.  
Mr. Harrison's voice was below the other conversations going around the table. "Are you sure? Is it something you need to say in private?"  
"No, really, I'm alright. It's... We're dating," he finally revealed without giving it another thought.  
There came a look of uncertainty on his father's face. Stan was preparing himself to defend his love. Mr. Harrison leaned forward and asked, "Can you say that again?"  
The table went quiet. Mark was looking at his brother, and Stan noticed the others looking in their direction. He was ready to hold Gary's hand in defense and comfort.  
The young man kept calm and repeated, "We're dating; me and Stan."  
Instead of negative reactions all around, Gary's father was the first to smile at Stan and say, "I knew you were back for a reason!"  
Jennifer said, "You'll love Gary, he's a great listener!"  
Their mother informed, "He knows how to cook food and bake pies!"  
Mark added, "You must be special to him because he's never gone for anyone before."  
Again, their father said in a warm tone, "Welcome back to the family, Stan."  
As conversations carried on with dinner, the two dates glanced at each other and shared a relieved smile. There was nothing to worry about, after all. Gary knew he was going to be alright. All he wanted to do next was to help Stan cut down on his drinking and feel better about his life.  
When the family was finishing their dinner, Mark spoke up to their father. "Dad, I need to tell you something."  
Mr. Harrison smiled with a hint of curiosity in his eyes, "You can say anything to me!"  
With a deep inhale and a slow exhale, the eldest brother revealed, "I'm leaving the church."  
There was a stunned silence from everyone, even the music seemed to have died. After a second, a new song played. It shouldn't have mattered, at least Stan thought to himself. He didn't think it was a big deal to them until he remembered what religion the family followed.  
Jennifer kept her mouth closed as she stared at her brother, then to their father. Stan looked at Gary, but the young man was looking down at his plate as if trying to process what his brother had just said. Their mother looked to her husband for a response. Mr. Harrison looked at each of them before he looked back down at his oldest son.  
"I thought you were serving your mission? Wouldn't you like to finish before you make such an important decision?"  
"I already broke a lot of rules. It helped me to learn-"  
"You broke the codes?" The family looked at him.  
Finally, to break the tension, Mrs. Harrison stood from her chair and began picking up the plates from everyone. Jennifer led the two youngest out of the dining room. Gary took Stan's hand and led him out as well. He must not have wanted to be around any more anxiety.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song used: "Sleep in the Light" by Johnny Goth

"So..." Stan strolled along the sidewalk with Gary, both heading back to his home for the night. "Let me get this straight. You're allowed to love who you want, but you're not allowed to leave the church?"  
The young man shook his head, "No, it's not like that. We can love who we love, and we can leave the church if we want to, but only in our family. The problem is Mark broke the rules."  
"Alright, so, what's going to happen? God's gonna strike him down?"  
"I-" Gary stopped himself, not knowing what to say. "I don't know?"  
"It doesn't matter to you. Maybe you're all shocked. Has it happened before?"  
"It hasn't."  
"Then of course you're all shocked and confused. Don't worry, you'll all get over it. Things will work out."  
It must be true; Gary hoped Stan was right. With that said, he hoped it also applied to his choice in helping Stan with his drinking. Perhaps it was not as bad as he had thought. The bottle full of water from earlier was a better choice than a bottle full of alcohol. He also noted how Stan wouldn't drink in public- save from that one night. Was it not an addiction after all? Gary wanted to keep an eye on Stan anyway. He wasn't going to drop his guard in case a relapse was on its way at some point.  
"It's cold," Stan interrupted his partner's thoughts.  
Gary noticed the chilly air surrounding them. "Yeah," was all he said. It took several quiet seconds before he brought up, "About the kiss..."  
"Right, what about it?"  
Before Stan could process what was happening, Gary turned to him and leaned forward. A quick kiss seemed to pause all time. In the glow of the sunset behind his love, Stan looked into blue Gary's which revealed nothing but a realization. He wondered if he realized kissing another young man was not going to anger his God after all. There was no instant end of the world, curse, or lightning of hatred.  
Their quick kiss turned into another, this time with patience. Hands at their sides intertwined fingers together. Stan's other hand touched the side of Gary's face as if to comfort him from any lingering anxiety. Noticeably, his hand trembled slightly against the young man's warm skin. Their hearts pounded in their chests during the moment.  
What broke the kiss was a smile and a little laugh from Gary. His partner couldn't help but do the same. While holding hands, they continued walking to Stan's house.  
After arriving at the Marsh residence, Gary was able to take a shower. He felt awkward as if he was invading the home, but it was nice to feel clean. The kiss lingered in his mind, causing a few breakouts of grins and fluttering heartbeats. He wanted to kiss Stan again, but he didn't want to do too much of something. To him, he feared kissing too much would exhaust the action and turn it old. After the shower, Gary dried off, put on pajamas, and walked into Stan's room.  
Stan was already in pajamas. Seeing Gary enter, he asked, "You want a snack or something? I could make popcorn if you want." Gary nodded, then followed Stan through the house and into the kitchen.  
As he threw a bag into the microwave, Stan mentioned, "We'll have some buttered popcorn and maybe we'll watch a movie together. Or we could go outside and look at the stars if you want to. It's going to be a good night together, okay?"  
Gary nodded and smiled, then asked, "What movie?"  
"I dunno, maybe a Terrance and Phillip movie."  
"Oh, I was never allowed to watch those."  
Stan frowned at him, "Well, Gary, you're old enough. All it is is swearing and ill-mannered humor. I'm sure you'll laugh your ass off. I used to watch it with my friends before we were eight years old, and look at how we turned out!"  
"I guess I could watch an episode or two," Gary gave in with curiosity.  
When the popcorn was made, the two young men headed up the stairs for Stan's bedroom. They found out how bad of idea watching the show was after one of them nearly choked on popcorn due to laughter. Instead of watching the show, the two sat together and finished the bowl of popcorn in silence. Unlike the other moments, their silence did not contain awkwardness or tension. It finally contained comfort.  
They laid down together, and Gary was surprised at Stan's lack of wanting something to drink. Instead of bringing it up, he mentioned the stars on the ceiling. "Despite them fading after fifteen minutes, at least they stay."  
"I couldn't get rid of them."  
"Because you care!"  
"No, because I'm a hoarder." Stan laughed a little at his half-joke, then he agreed, "Yeah, because I care. I knew they had to be better than looking at a dark ceiling on the nights that hurt the most."  
"See? They're not that bad!"  
Stan turned on his side to look at Gary and reminded, "When I suggested looking at the stars, I meant the ones outside. Not these crappy ones. As I said: their glow still fades."  
There was a soft smile on Gary's face as he said, "Still, they stay. That's something to appreciate. They stayed here during the nights you were not allowed to look at them outside. Right?"  
With a sigh, Stan shrugged and admitted, "I guess so. I like them." After he gave a kiss, he decided on changing the topic to something different. "Do you want to hear me play guitar?"  
The guitar was something Gary had wondered about before. "I want to hear you sing, too," he said with a hopeful smile. "I'll sing with you if it's a song I know."  
Getting up from the bed, Stan stepped away to retrieve his guitar. He got onto the bed again and mentioned, "I suck at singing. But anyway, you remember the morning you spoke to me when I was drunk?"  
"Yeah," Gary remembered as he sat up, moving to rest beside Stan.  
"Alright, this is going to sound sappy, but this is the song I repeated when I couldn't get you off of my mind."  
Gary gave Stan a comforting smile, "People play songs for many reasons. Don't feel embarrassed about it." He was curious to know what the song was.  
As he began to strum the strings, Gary recognized the song. He felt a pull in his chest, feeling what Stan could have felt while listening to the song on repeat. He knew the words, so he sang along with his love. It was a surprise to Stan, but it made him happier to know he wasn't the only one who knew the song.  
" _When it gets late, I get nervous, so I have to run away_." Their voices sang together in harmony, trying to keep it low in case Stan's parents were sleeping. " _Until I find what I lost that night, all I can do is wait_."  
All the anxiety Gary had felt around falling in love and confessing to his family drifted away. He knew with time, he was going to help Stan feel better. Day by day, little at a time.  
They were going to be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a short chapter.. I ran out of ideas, haha
> 
> In other words, thank you for reading this! I hope you enjoyed!!


End file.
